


My Evil Twin

by Petalene



Series: Two Many Sebastians [2]
Category: Glee, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Anal Sex, Crossover, Fantasizing, M/M, Oral Sex, Threesome - M/M/M, pretend dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2019-10-10 14:18:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17427521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petalene/pseuds/Petalene
Summary: When Barry arrives in New York for a visit, Kurt wants Barry to act out the superhero fantasy Sebastian refuses to dress up for.Sequel to Too Many Sebastians.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be multi-chaptered, probably three, with no set update schedule. If you haven’t read Too Many Sebastians, this won’t be nearly as much fun. 
> 
> Here’s what you missed on Glee -
> 
> When Kurt sees Sebastian pretending not to know him at a club, he assumes his boyfriend is acting out a roleplaying game. If they weren’t in Central City, he’d have been right. Sebastian catches Kurt blowing a guy that looks exactly like him and says that the only way to fix it is a threesome. Getting to see his super hot boyfriend have sex with his double, Kurt is all over that especially because it means Sebastian and Barry can be all over him. 
> 
> And that’s what you missed on Glee. 
> 
> I don’t own Glee. If I did, Kurt would have been having sex ALL THE TIME. 
> 
> Title from the They Might Be Giants Song - My Evil Twin. 
> 
> I’ll be adding more tags as I add more chapters. Please note the pretend dub-con tag if you are easily triggered. No actual dub con, everyone is having consensual fun. ;)

It’s become one of Kurt’s favorite fantasies since the night he and Sebastian met Barry in Central City. Kurt can picture it so clearly - Sebastian with his fingers threaded through the hair at the back of Barry’s neck, holding him close while they kiss as best they can with Kurt’s dick between their mouths. The deliciously sloppy blow job goes on and on, the two sets of lips teasing without being enough to get him off. One of them, Kurt can’t tell who, slides a hand up Kurt’s thigh and strokes his balls while the other grabs Kurt’s ass and squeezes. 

After a few minutes of imagining this in exquisite detail, Kurt slides his hand in his pants and pulls out his dick. It would feel so good to have Barry and Sebastian all over him like last time. 

Or maybe, Barry can ride Kurt while Sebastian helps. That brings up a delightful image of Kurt as deep inside Barry as he can get while Sebastian makes suggestions, “fuck him hard,” and then he strokes Barry to orgasm before pulling him off and fucking his mouth. 

Kurt is getting close to a spectacular orgasm when Sebastian opens the door to their bedroom. Gripping his dick tightly to shut down the building pleasure, Kurt says, “Hi, honey. How are you?”

“Well, I had a long day at work and then I come home to this, so things are looking up. What are you thinking about?”

“You and me. And Barry.”

“Really?” Sebastian lays down on the bed, pulls Kurt’s hand out of the way, and wraps his own around Kurt’s dick, stroking very, very slowly. 

What an asshole. Kurt is moments away from coming and his evil boyfriend wants to go slow? “Um, yeah. I keep bouncing back and forth between the two of you kissing around my dick and Barry riding me before you fuck his mouth.”

Sebastian’s hand speeds up, his mouth next to Kurt’s ear. “Barry sent me a very interesting email. He’s had to get a bunch of tests each month since he was in the coma and he hasn’t been with anyone but us since. He’s STI free and I want to watch you fuck him without a condom. And I keep imagining you blowing him bare while I fuck you from behind.”

Kurt moans. 

“Every time I thrust in, it forces you to choke on his dick.”

“I don’t...choke,” Kurt pants. 

“When I imagine it, you do.”

Oh, fuck that’s hot. Barry’s dick is bigger, not by much and not that Kurt has mentioned that little tidbit to either of them. Kurt also hasn’t mentioned the dildo he’s been using to practice deep-throating so that he can blow Barry properly if there’s a next time. 

Sebastian strokes faster. “I like seeing me with my legs spread and your lips wrapped around my dick and how good I look when I come down your throat.”

“So close.”

“And when Barry is about to blow his load, I’ll grab your dick, just like now and get you off when he gets off so you won’t even be able to swallow.”

The fantasy Sebastian spins merges with the reality of the hand on Kurt’s dick. Every nerve fires. Pleasure spirals through Kurt’s body as come spills over Sebastian’s hand. The world whites out and everything is perfect. 

“Holy fuuuuck.”

Sebastian grinds against Kurt’s hip. Once, twice and then his mouth falls open and he stills. 

“Did you just come in your pants?” Kurt asks. Sebastian is almost as picky about his work clothes as Kurt is.

“Yeah. I have no regrets,” Sebastian says. 

His phone buzzes with an incoming text. “Fuck,” Sebastian mumbles as he grabs the phone and swipes it on. “Another problem at work. I’ve gotta go deal with this.”

XOXOXOXO

It’s been a few days since Sebastian interrupted Kurt masturbating and jerked him off. Work’s been running Sebastian ragged. He’s hardly home long enough to shower before falling face first on the bed, let alone having time and energy to fuck. Sure, Kurt’s had some fun with the fleshlight, but it’s not the same. 

Kurt’s got two and a half more weeks before rehearsals for his next show start and he has been hoping to spend it having sex with his boyfriend. Although, since he’s dating a soon-to-be junior partner at an expensive and prestigious corporate law firm, he should have expected Sebastian to be working.  

The chime of the doorbell pulls Kurt from his pouting. He walks across the room and opens the door.

“Miss me?” Barry has his hands in his pockets and a hopeful smile playing around his lips. He’s adorable in a maroon Central City U t-shirt, jeans, and converse high tops. 

“Of course I missed you,” Kurt says. “Come on in. Sebastian isn’t here, but that means I get you all to myself.” While they’d normally discuss hookups in advance, they’ve agreed that Barry is on the “go for it” list. Especially after the email. 

“Lucky me.”

Kurt holds the door open and Barry steps inside. 

“Nice place.”

“Thanks. It was completely atrocious when I moved in. Sebastian has no taste.” When they first started dating, everything was gray and minimalist. Now the palate is sophisticated browns and creams with overstuffed couches and love seats sitting on lush carpet. Classic style paintings decorate the walls and add to the sense of sophistication. 

“He has you.” Barry pulls Kurt into a hug, kissing him chastely on the lips

“What are you doing in New York?” Kurt asks. The answer better involve sex.

Barry shrugs. “I missed you guys.”

“We missed you too. I hope you aren’t too tired.”

“Tired?”

“From the flight.”

Barry quickly says, “Because flying is tiring and no, I’m not.”

“Good. Right now, I want to drag you to the bedroom.” Kurt runs his hands up Barry’s hips to the hem of his tee shirt, sliding them under so he can touch warm skin.

“Thank god.” Barry cups Kurt’s face in his hands. 

The kiss is amazing. Kurt loves Sebastian. There’s still something kind of nice about only having to focus on the kissing and not worrying about any of the day to day crap. 

“Do you want to see the place?” Kurt asks. 

“That depends. Does the tour include you naked and spread eagle on a bed?”

“Only for very special visitors.” Kurt can show off the rest of the place later. Or not. 

Threading his fingers through Barry’s, Kurt tugs him towards the bedroom. 

“Is Sebastian going to care if we have sex without him?” Barry asks.

“Nope.” Kurt turns to smirk at Barry. “We both agree that anytime with you is a good time.”

Barry smiles brightly. Sebastian and Barry really could be twins. 

Wait. 

Kurt isn’t sure how he knows and he can’t put his finger on it. But it’s Sebastian that Kurt is dragging to their bedroom. Not Barry. 

“This is the bedroom.” Kurt throws open the French doors to reveal a king size four poster bed with a fluffy dark blue comforter and silky sheets. The matched natural cherry wood furniture set is all Kurt’s doing as is the large mirror next to the doors. He opens the drapes covering the floor to ceiling windows, allowing the afternoon sunlight to fill the room with a golden glow. 

“What are you in the mood for?” Sebastian asks in that slightly shy way Barry does.  

An interesting idea occurs to Kurt. There’s something he’s always wanted to do with Sebastian, but Sebastian is evil and keeps saying no. “How do you feel about role playing?”

“We role played the first time we met,” Sebastian says. “I just didn’t know it.”

Yahtzee. Sebastian is either agreeing to this or admitting he’s not Barry. And if he went to all this trouble to set this up, especially when it’s been forever since they’ve had time for sex, Sebastian will agree. “It’s mostly costumes. Maybe a little acting.” Which Sebastian can handle. If he can act like Barry, he can act like someone else.

Sebastian’s brows knit together. “What kind of outfit?”

Kurt opens the closet and pulls a garment bag out of the back. “I bought this for Sebastian to wear to a Halloween party because he looks exactly like him. I’m going to make you a superhero. Go in the bathroom and put this on.”

Since Sebastian had flat out refused to wear the costume last October, Kurt didn’t bother getting a specific outfit for himself. A quick rummage through his extensive clothing collection solves the problem. He fights the battle of the bulge to get into the pants he wore for his NYADA audition. After adding a tight black tank top and a tiara decorated with Swarovski crystals, Kurt smiles to himself. 

Excitement builds as Kurt attaches the leather cuffs to the posts at the head of the bed, leaving one end open and waiting for his wrists. After a moments consideration, Kurt yanks the comforter and blankets off the bed, leaving only the bottom sheet. Sebastian is still in the bathroom and he better be putting on the outfit if he knows what’s good for him. 

“I feel ridiculous,” Sebastian calls through the mostly closed door.

Kurt says, “I’m wearing boots and skin-tight, gold metallic pants so I’m taller than you. And you should see my ass.”

“Can you see your own ass?”

“Sort of,” Kurt says. Looking over his shoulder, he mostly gets a view of his backside in the mirror, the light reflecting off his pants and drawing the eye. “What I can see looks amazing.”

“Fine,” Sebastian grumbles as he steps into the room. “You have no idea how weird this is.”

“Damn, you look hot,” Kurt breathes. The Green Arrow costume fits Sebastian like a glove and the lack of facial hair doesn’t detract from the outfit as much as Kurt thought it might. Tight leather pants show that Sebastian is hard, regardless of how silly he claims to feel. The dark green mask makes his eyes greener and the quiver of arrows strapped across his chest sells the outfit.

“Why Green Arrow?”

“He seems like the sort of vigilante that would consider sex in exchange for leniency.” Which he sort of does. “And to threaten to spank me, but not actually spank me.” That one, not so much. But Kurt doesn’t like getting spanked even though he gets off on being threatened with spankings. “He’s hot as fuck.”

Sebastian laughs to himself. “What’s your villain name?”

“Killer Queen,” Kurt sings. “Gunpowder, gelatine. Dynamite with a laser beam. Guaranteed to blow your mind. Anytime.” Kurt spins a scepter around like a sai sword. 

“You’re going to blow something.”

Kurt licks his lips.

“How does this work?” Sebastian asks. The corners of his mouth pull down as he tugs at his costume. 

Hand on his hip, Kurt strikes a pose. “I’ve got powers and I’m using them to steal.”

“Steal what?” Sebastian asks. 

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Then how do I get into character?”

“By doing what I tell you,” Kurt says, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.

Sebastian snorts. “Got it.”

“Perfect. Now, I’m a thief.”

“A sexy thief.” 

Kurt pushes back his annoyance at the delays. “And you’ve caught me.”

“And then...?”

“You tie me up and fuck me until I promise never to do it again.” 

Sebastian smirks. “What kind of powers do you have?”

“Why do you care?”

“If you have some weird voice ability, then I need to secure your mouth. If you don’t, then I want to kiss you.”

Kurt can work with that. “My voice is that of a siren and if you don’t keep my mouth busy, I’ll sing and enslave you to my will.”

“I’m not sure that’s the threat you think it is.”

“Focus!” Kurt snaps. 

“Sorry. Here goes nothing,” Sebastian mutters to himself. In a deeper voice, he says, “Killer Queen. You have failed this city. Prepare to answer for your crimes.”

“Looks like you caught me red-handed,” Kurt says. “But I don’t want to go to jail. I’d look atrocious in orange.”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Sebastian asks in his normal voice.

Kurt growls. The chances of him tricking Sebastian into this again are minimal. If he only gets this once, Kurt wants it to be perfect. 

“I mean,” Sebastian continues in a deeper voice, “you have to pay your debt to society.”

“What do you have in mind?” Kurt struts forward and runs a finger up the dark green jacket. “I don’t think my tiara will suit you. And I don’t have anything else I can offer you in exchange for leniency.”

“Turn around.”

This is more like it. Kurt turns and positions himself, ass out, legs apart, and glancing seductively over his shoulder.

Less than an instant later, Sebastian presses behind Kurt, growling in his ear. “I’m going to fuck you and if you’re good enough, I’ll think about letting you go.” Sebastian kisses down Kurt’s neck. “And you’re gonna make this good.”

“I’ll make this so good,” Kurt moans. 

Sebastian reaches around Kurt’s waist and unsnaps the button on the pants. “I like these pants.” Slowly, Sebastian pulls the zipper down. “Take them off.”

It takes a little longer than Kurt wants to get undressed. Since he’d had to wiggle to get into the pants, he had to wiggle to get out of them. 

When Kurt’s finally naked, Sebastian says, “You’re getting on that bed and spreading your legs.”

Kurt sits on the edge of the bed and scoots back until he’s in the middle. Spreading his legs as far as they’ll go, which is pretty far considering he can almost do the splits, Kurt holds his arms up over his head, ready to be tied up and ravished.  

“Fuck, that’s sexy,” Sebastian breathes. With two snaps, he secures Kurt’s wrists to the posts. 

A quick tug confirms that the cuffs will hold and Kurt is ready for the role of a lifetime. “You going to do anything? I keep hearing about what a badass you are and I’m not seeing it.”

“Now you’re going to get it,” Sebastian growls, unzipping his pants. 

“Leave those on,” Kurt says. Sebastian’s legs in the dark green pants are amazing. The thought of the leather against Kurt’s naked skin makes his dick throb. Pre-come drips out the slit and lands on his stomach. 

“You aren’t in charge,” Sebastian says, low and rough. But he leaves the pants on, pulling his dick out and stroking it a few times. He leans close to Kurt’s ear. “Safeword still mot sûr?”

“You speak French?” Kurt asks, trying to keep up the pretense that he believes Sebastian is Barry. 

“I took a speed reading French course.” Sebastian kisses down Kurt’s chest and sucks a hicky. “Answer the question.”

“Yes,” Kurt shouts. His back arches and he pulls on the cuffs, wanting to run his fingers through Sebastian’s hair. 

“I would put a gag in your mouth, but I want to fuck it. Gonna slide my dick past your lips and watch you suck.”

A ripple of pleasure shudders through Kurt. “I can’t stop you from doing anything.” His dick leaks in a steady stream. 

It’s a little awkward with the leather pants. But once Sebastian gets in position, straddling Kurt’s chest with the head of his dick less than an inch from Kurt’s eager mouth, Kurt knows this is going to be everything he’s fantasized about. Sebastian looks so good, hovering above him, the mask and hood transforming his face from handsome and charming to dark and dangerous. 

“Killer Queen, you’ve been a bad boy and you need to be punished. I’m going to fuck you until you convince me you’re sorry.”

“And if I’m not sorry? Kurt asks defiantly.

“Then I’ll keep fucking you.”

“Not sure that’s a threat,” Kurt pants.

“What if I spank your ass till it’s nice and red and then spank it some more?”

“I still won’t be sorry.”

Sebastian strokes his thumb along Kurt’s lower lip, pushes in, and pulls his jaw down. “Keep your mouth open.” 

Kurt obediently opens wide, excitement shivering through him. 

One gloved hand braces Sebastian against the wall and the other wraps around his dick, guiding it into Kurt’s mouth. 

Even with relaxing his jaw, Kurt still feels it when Sebastian pushes in. It must be a bad angle because Kurt can’t quite get his lips to the base of Sebastian’s dick. Breathing through his nose, Kurt takes it. Swallowing around Sebastian’s dick makes Sebastian moan, so Kurt does it again. He finally gets Sebastian in the back of his throat and swallows. 

Over and over, Sebastian thrusts in, using Kurt’s mouth for his own pleasure and leaving Kurt’s dick to twitch and leak in desperation. 

Kurt can tell when Sebastian is getting close. If he could talk, he’d tell Sebastian to stop fucking his mouth and fuck his ass before he comes so Kurt can come too. He could almost come from just this, but it’s not going to be enough to get him over the edge. 

“You look good like this,” Sebastian moans. “Love having your lips wrapped around my dick. Knowing that I’m going to have a spectacular orgasm and you only get one if I let you.”

Oh, god. Kurt moans and Sebastian’s rhythm falters at the vibration.  

“I could keep you like this for days, on edge while I fuck your mouth over and over. Not allowing you any relief till you’re a begging pleading mess.”

As best he can while getting face-fucked, Kurt shakes his head no. He needs it so bad. 

Sebastian slides a hand to the back of Kurt’s neck, holding him in place while he thrusts. 

Kurt’s eyes flutter closed. He can’t move, can’t say anything, can’t do anything but take it. 

With a thrust as deep as he can go, Sebastian moans while he pulses in the back of Kurt’s throat. It’s unfair that all Kurt gets to taste is bitterness on the back of his tongue. Sebastian’s hips jerk and Kurt’s jerk in response, pushing up into empty air, wanting friction that isn’t there.

Sebastian pulls out with a wet pop. 

Panting, Kurt whines, “Please,” his voice rough from getting his throat fucked. 

“You can do better than that.”

Huh?

Sebastian shifts so he’s laying along Kurt’s side, stroking leather-covered fingers along his hip, Sebastian’s spent dick twitching in contentment, leaking a few drops of fluid that cool as they dry. “If you want it, beg me like you mean it.”

A tiny part of Kurt wants to tell Sebastian where he can stick his suggestion on principal. A bigger part is so desperate, he’ll agree to just about anything right now. Kurt moans, “I need it so bad.” The desperation is almost as bad as it was after the ruined orgasm. 

Leaning forward, Sebastian presses his lips to Kurt’s and slides his tongue between them. 

Kurt kisses Sebastian like he’s oxygen. 

Sebastian trails his lips to Kurt’s neck and places open mouth kisses down to his nipple. He sucks it into his mouth, biting gently and then harder as Kurt squirms, his hips once again thrusting into empty air. 

The hand on Kurt’s hip tightens. “You want to be a good boy, don’t you? Good boys get to come.”

“Yes,” Kurt shouts. “Dear god, yes.”

“Then convince me you deserve to come and I’ll let you. If you don’t, I’m going to get you right to the edge and ruin it. Let you suffer.” Sebastian sucks the other nipple into his mouth and flicks it with his tongue. “That might even get me hard enough to fuck you right after. Do you know how hot it would make me to fuck you while you’re aching for it and your body won’t even let you get hard?”

They’d tried it once because Kurt was curious after seeing a ruined orgasm in porn. Sebastian had edged him over and over, a lube-slick hand stroking up and down, the grip tightening when Kurt got too close. And right at the moment Kurt was sure that Sebastian had waited too long and he was going to come, Sebastian flicked a finger under the glans and an agonizing spurt of fluid oozed out, leaving Kurt desperate for an orgasm even as his dick softened and his eyes filled with tears. He’d been even more turned on and ten times as horny as he was before Sebastian’s finger put an instant and painful end to the pleasure. It had felt like hours that Kurt had been tormented, focused on what he had to do to get hard so he could finally have an orgasm. 

Sebastian had fucked Kurt after, twice, slow and gentle. Both times marveling loudly about how good Kurt’s ass felt and didn’t Kurt wish he could come? The third time was hard and fast, Sebastian selfishly chasing after his own pleasure and ignoring Kurt’s desperation. Because he’s evil. 

After Sebastian’s third orgasm, Kurt had been ready to scream. Sebastian got off on it, three times, but it wasn’t something Kurt wanted to do again, even if he’d kept begging for despite Sebastian being drained dry and unable get it up.  

“No,” Kurt moans. “Please. I’ll be so good. I’ll do anything.” 

“I still want to fuck that tight little ass of yours,” Sebastian says. “So here’s what we’re going to do. I am going to get you stretched and ready for my dick. Then we’ll see if I feel like letting you come.” 

“Anything you want.” 

Sebastian rolls off Kurt to the edge of the bed, biting off the gloves one at a time. A quick rummage through the bedside drawer produces a bottle of lube. He pours a generous amount on his fingers. Then he’s on his knees between Kurt’s spread legs. “Ankles up over my shoulders.”

Kurt immediately complies. A moment to spread lube around on his fingers, and Sebastian pushes them inside, the faintest of touches grazing Kurt’s prostate and making him crazy with need. Kurt moans in frustration. He promises himself he’s not going to scream. Sebastian spends what feels like forever, but is probably only a few minutes, spreading his fingers and opening Kurt along with an occasional brush against his prostate. 

Sebastian uses his other hand to roll Kurt’s balls in the sack and bounce them a few times. “So full.” 

How much longer can Sebastian do this for? “You can fuck me now,” Kurt pants. “Please. Please. Please.”

Sebastian scoots forward on his knees, lining his dick up with Kurt’s hole. 

How can Sebastian be hard again? Time’s lost all meaning. But it doesn’t matter, if Sebastian is hard, they can get on with the fucking.

Ever so gently, Sebastian pushes in inch by agonizingly slow inch. If Kurt weren’t certain that there’s the slightest possibility Sebastian could carry through on his threat to ruin Kurt’s orgasm, he’d have screamed at Sebastian to get going. 

Sebastian fucks Kurt slowly. So incredibly slowly. “Killer Queen, tell me you’re sorry for stealing.”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt shouts. “I’m so sorry, I’ll never do it again.”

Another few slow thrusts. “I’m not convinced.”

“I’ll never steal again. Ever.” Kurt’s so far gone, he means it. “I swear on my vintage Alexander McQueen jacket that I’ve learned my lesson.”

“Finally,” Sebastian breathes, immediately grabbing Kurt’s hips and fucking him hard and fast. 

“Harder,” Kurt moans. “Oh, god, right there.” 

Sebastian nails his prostate just right, over and over, until everything narrows to the intense pleasure inside his body. A hand slides off Kurt’s hip and settles around his dick, jerking him in time to the thrusts. 

The world explodes as Kurt comes, creamy spurts hitting his chest as Sebastian strokes him through his orgasm. His toes curl and his entire body shivers with pleasure. As Kurt comes down from the high, he’s faintly aware of Sebastian tightening his grip and groaning as he comes. 

Kurt melts into the mattress, every muscle relaxing. He’s never moving again. Forget eating or working, this is the perfect moment to stay in for the rest of his life. 

Sebastian pulls out and flops next to Kurt, unhooking his wrists before wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer. 

“How was it?” 

The uncertain tone to Sebastian’s question is cute. “Thank you,” Kurt says. “This was even better than my fantasies.”

“I didn’t go too overboard with the threats, did I? That’s not really my area of expertise.”

“It’s not something I’m into all the time, but it’s fun as a once in a while thing. I love you.”

Sebastian’s breath hitches. “I like you, a lot,” he says. “But you and Sebastian belong together and I don’t want to get in the middle of that. The love part, I mean. I’d love to get in the middle of the two of you.”

He’s Barry? Oh fuck, not again. And this time, Kurt’s got no excuse. Barry showed up in New York wearing a Central City U shirt. And then he said he’s Barry. Shit, shit, and more shit. What’s Sebastian going to say? 

That Kurt is an idiot and Kurt won’t argue. 

Fuck. 

“Got you,” Sebastian says with a smirk. “I sure had you going.”

“Not till the very end,” Kurt says. And then he quickly adds, “and just for a second.”

“I couldn’t resist. And I love you, too.”

“You know I mean it when I say I love you, right?” Kurt asks. “I like that we can occasionally fuck around with other people and I really like fucking around with Barry, but I’m in love with you.” 

If all three of them decide to have Barry stick around long enough, Kurt will figure out if he can and wants to go there. Now isn’t the best time to explain that to Sebastian. Maybe when Sebastian is feeling a little more secure. Or when Kurt wants to make him jealous so he can get fucked within an inch of his life.

“I’ll consider doing this again, but next time, you’re in the costume. Leather isn’t the best for getting sweaty.” Sebastian peels himself out of the outfit and puts on some sweat pants. 

The doorbell interrupts Kurt’s ogling of his sexy boyfriend. Damn it. “You expecting someone?”

Sebastian shakes his head. “No.”

Kurt hauls himself off the bed and tosses on a robe. 

Three knocks in swift succession are followed by, “Open up, it’s the police.”

“What did you do?” Sebastian asks. 

“Me? More like, what did you do?”

“Nothing. I swear.” Sebastian hurries into the main room with Kurt. 

As Kurt peers through the peephole, a weird sense of panic twists in his stomach. The shiny gold badge is the only thing he can see. With a deep, steadying breath, Kurt opens the door.

In the hallway, a smiling Barry Allen holds up the most realistic police badge Kurt has ever seen that wasn’t in the hands of a police officer. Not that Kurt has had many opportunities to see a police officer holding a badge up close, but that’s a story for never.

“Asshole,” Kurt says. “I was trying to figure out what Sebastian did. And apparently, the answer is that he exists.” 

Sebastian looks Barry up and down. “If you’re going to impersonate a police officer, why aren’t you wearing tear-away clothes and carrying a boom box?”

Barry laughs, holding up his badge.  “I’m a CSI in Central City. Never said I was NYPD.”

Sebastian nuzzles Kurt’s neck. “Surprise, baby.” And then louder, “Hey, evil twin. We were just talking about you.” 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally had some time to edit. Thanks for your patience and there shouldn't be as long a delay before the next one is up.

“Why did you decide to role-play right before Barry showed up?” Kurt isn’t mad at Sebastian, not exactly. It’s more that his desire to pounce Barry is muted by the recent intense orgasm. 

“What were you role playing?” Barry asks, dropping his bag on the floor. 

Kurt feels the blush creep over his cheeks. “Um, this might sound bad, but Sebastian was pretending to be you and I convinced him to play superheroes and villains, minus the pants.”

“I was Green Arrow and Kurt was a naughty thief, and I taught him a lesson. He won’t steal ever again.” Sebastian shrugs. “You weren’t due for another few hours so I’d intended to get Kurt worked back up and ready to go.” 

“You were Green Arrow?” Barry winces, and a frown pulls down at the corners of his mouth. “I managed to get an extra half day off work and I headed out early. I can come back later if you two are busy.”

“No, don’t be silly,” Kurt says, pulling Barry into a hug. “I’ve been fantasizing about you and now that I got the real you, I’m not letting you leave.”

Sebastian asks, “How’d you get here so soon? Changing your flight is a bitch and a half.”

“Oh, um yeah, well...my...uh...friend let me hitch a ride on his private plane so I could leave whenever I was ready.”

That sounds interesting. How does a police officer in Central City know someone rich enough to have a private plane? Sebastian has ridiculously rich parents, but even they aren’t rich enough for that. Kurt is dying to know. “Who?”

A smile spreads across Barry’s face. “Oliver Queen.” 

Kurt’s jaw drops. “Please tell me he’s just as gorgeous in person as he is on TV. I’ll be heartbroken if it’s all makeup and lighting.”

“He’s pretty cute, but he’s not my type and he’s madly in love with his girlfriend.”

“Bummer. So no foursome with us and Oliver.”

“Why were you pretending to be me if I was coming over today?” Barry asks, glancing between Sebastian and Kurt. 

“Kurt was telling me how he likes fucking around with you so I figured I could be accommodating. Now I want to watch him ride you.” Sebastian grabs the back of Barry’s neck and pulls him close. “He’s open and ready for you. You’re going to look so good with Kurt bouncing up and down on your dick.”

Barry’s eyes dilate. 

It’s kind of annoying that Kurt came half his brain cells out, but he’ll catch up, eventually. Or it might be what Sebastian said earlier about wanting to fuck Kurt when he can’t get hard. Of course Sebastian will get off on watching himself fuck Kurt when Kurt isn’t getting off on it. Because he’s evil. 

Sebastian pulls Barry into a kiss, their tongues twining together. God, that is so fucking sexy. 

Kurt slides up behind Barry and pulls his shirt off. “I have a feeling you’re getting tag teamed in a moment, so if you’re too tired from the flight, you need to say something.”

“Not too tired,” Barry breathes.

“I don’t know,” Sebastian says. “I think you should sit and let Kurt do most of the work. I bet I look amazing getting off without having to do anything.”

With a twitch, Kurt’s dick lets him know how much it likes the idea. 

“Sure. If it’s what Kurt wants,” Barry says, a cross between excitement and overwhelmed. 

“Evil twin, you come sit here and I’ll get Kurt in position.”

Barry immediately yanks off his pants and sits on the couch. 

Kurt must be more excited than he realized because he didn’t even see Barry remove his shoes. Having all that tan skin on display is distracting. 

Sebastian pulls on Kurt’s robe, letting it slide off his shoulders and fall on the floor. “You good to go, or do you need more lube?” Sebastian asks, low and rough. 

“I’m ready.” With all the lube Sebastian had used earlier, Kurt doesn’t need anything else. He’s a little sore, but he won’t let that stop him.

Grabbing Barry’s dick, Kurt straddles his thighs and lowers himself, guiding the head to his waiting hole. 

“Fuuuuck,” Barry moans as Kurt settles on Barry’s lap. “So good.”

“Yeah, it is,” Sebastian says. “You look so good sitting on my dick.” 

Sebastian and Barry’s hands are everywhere. All Kurt can do is moan. He pushes up on his knees until just the head of Barry’s dick is still inside him and lowers back down. 

Barry’s head falls against the back of the couch. 

“Again,” Sebastian says. 

And Kurt does. Over and over, enjoying the slight burn each time his sinks down onto Barry’s dick. This isn’t about Kurt getting off. He’s still not completely hard, despite all the fucking. It’s about getting Barry caught up so they can all fuck later. 

Sebastian shifts so he can kneel on the couch and reaches for Barry’s chin, pulling him into a kiss. 

Kurt’s dick is finally on board. 

Sebastian smiles against Barry’s lips. “Is this working for you, evil twin?”

“Yesssss,” Barry hisses. 

“I pounded Kurt’s hole before you arrived,” Sebastian says. “I pretended to be you and I fucked him. Hard.”

“Oh, god,” Barry moans. 

“Tonight, I’m going to watch Kurt fuck you.” Sebastian kisses down Barry’s neck. “Gonna watch him spread you open and fuck you. I want to see how good I look taking it.”

Barry’s eyes close and he whimpers in the back of his throat. 

Sebastian moves closer, plunging his tongue in Barry’s mouth and moaning. 

Grinding down, Kurt thrusts his hips forward, rubbing against Barry. He wants to get off with Barry inside him. 

Barry thrusts up as best he can while trapped between Kurt and Sebastian. The grip on Kurt’s hips tightens and Barry screams into Sebastian’s mouth when he comes. 

Sebastian’s hand slides around to Kurt’s dick and he strokes hard and fast. Kurt grinds down onto Barry and comes, white streaks splashing on Barry’s chest. 

“Damn,” Sebastian says. “I always knew we looked good fucking, but I had no idea it was that good. We should make a porno.”

“Wait,” Kurt pants. “What?”

“For personal use only.”

“Oh. Okay, then.” Sebastian gets off on watching “himself” fucking, so maybe Kurt would, too. As Barry softens, Kurt pulls off and leans forward, resting his forehead against Barry’s neck. 

If they do make a sex tape, it should be Sebastian and Barry. Kurt could watch that all day. 

Kurt’s phone buzzes and he scowls at it. Whoever it is, Kurt doesn’t want anything or anyone intruding on time with Barry.

Sebastian reaches over and gets the phone off the end table. “Crazy pants is demanding that you quote get your skinny ass over to the bar, or I’m showing up with a taser and taking care of it myself. And you can bring your boy toy with you as long as he doesn’t piss me off end quote.”

Another buzz. “If you try and tell her you can’t got because you’ve started your next show early,” Sebastian says, “she’ll...okay, wow is that violent. Apparently Brittany wants her favorite gay and what Brittany wants, Santana gets for her. You better go. I can keep Barry entertained.”

“Hell, no,” Kurt says immediately. No way is he going out with Santana and leaving Barry and Sebastian here by themselves. While Kurt had no objects to the two of them hooking up without him, he at least wants to watch. 

Sebastian stares at Kurt until the uncomfortableness settles in. “Barry. My friend Santana is demanding my presence at a local bar. Since I can only bring people with me who don’t piss her off, I probably shouldn’t bring Sebastian.”

“Hey!” Sebastian says. 

“Can you name one occasion where you and Santana didn’t piss each other off?”

Sebastian doesn’t answer. Anything he says other than “no” is a big fat lie and he knows it. 

“Anyway. Barry, would you like to experience a little of New York City?” Kurt suddenly realizes how sticky and sweaty he is. “I call dibs on the tub. You two can fight over who gets the shower first or take one together.” Kurt wants a few minutes to himself. 

Sebastian lets out a cheerful gasp. “We should all go! I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she realizes there’s two of me.”

Kurt rubs the heels of his hands over his eyes. This is a bad idea. 

Santana’s favorite bar is within walking distance of a subway station and so is their place. Which works out for Santana who frequently demands Kurt’s presence. “I couldn’t get a cab” isn’t an acceptable excuse. But if Sebastian plans to antagonize Santana, which he does by existing, Barry should get to see a little of New York first. 

“Subway?” Kurt asks. 

“We’re taking a cab,” Sebastian says immediately. 

Kurt rolls his eyes. Sebastian thinks he’s too good for the subway and he’s got enough money to avoid it. 

 

AN HOUR LATER, THEY PILE into a cab. Barry has a couple of new hickies peeking out of the neck of his shirt and Sebastian has a smugly satisfied grin on his face. This cab ride is more fun than the one they took in Central City. Kurt gets to hold both Sebastian’s and Barry’s hands. It’s amusing how the cab driver peeks in the rear-view mirror a few times trying to figure out what’s going on. 

As they exit the cab, Sebastian’s phone rings. He sighs. “It’s work. Go in without me. I’ll be in shortly.” He cups Kurt’s face in his hands. “I promise I won’t be this busy forever.”

“I know.”

The bar isn’t very crowded for a Saturday afternoon. Once inside, Kurt sees Santana and Brittany at a table. 

A huge smile lights up Brittany’s face and she waves enthusiastically, bouncing in her seat. “Where’s Sebastian?” 

Santana blinks. “What? Honey, he’s standing next to Kurt.”

“It’s not him.” Brittany’s lips press together in a confused frown. 

Somehow Kurt manages to keep the laughter in. 

Barry turns a brilliant smile towards Santana. “Hi.”

“Did you just check out my rack, preppy? You know I have razor blades all up in my hair. What the fuck?”

The laughter bubbles up. Sebastian would never dare look at Santana’s chest, not even if he were bi or straight. “This isn’t Sebastian,” Kurt says. 

Santana crosses her arms and taps her foot. 

“Brittany and Santana, this is-”

“Bullshit,” Santana cuts him off.

Brittany says, “Nice to meet you.”

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing,” Santana says, “But I specifically told preppy not to piss me off.”

“Hey! If it isn’t my least favorite lesbian.” Sebastian puts an arm around Santana’s shoulders. “Being the low person on the food chain at the law firm means I sometimes have to handle things when I’m not at work. I can stay for a while, but then I need to run into the office and deal with some shit for a few hours. We’re closing a big case this week. What could Barry have done in less than two minutes to piss you off?”

“I’m bisexual and I glanced at her chest?” Barry says. “I wasn’t leering.”

Brittany sing-songs, “I told you he’s not Sebastian.” 

“There are two of you?” Santana asks in disbelief. “Whyyyyyyyy?”

Sebastian laughs. “I see you’ve met my evil twin.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re the evil twin,” Kurt tells Sebastian. 

 

IT’S DARK BY THE TIME Kurt and Barry leave the bar. The buzz Kurt has going isn’t affected by the outside air. He doesn’t see a single cab, and he’s not in the mood to wander around trying to find one. “Have you ever wanted to ride the subway?” Most tourists want to. Sebastian thinks it’s dirty and dangerous. Which is stupid. And true. But mostly stupid. Besides, New Yorkers take the subway. Except for rich people like Sebastian. 

“Yes,” Barry says. “We should! I’ve seen it in so many movies, even if it’s probably the same as the train in Central City.”

“It’s probably dirtier,” Kurt mumbles. 

They head underground. 

“This is so cool! We’re going to ride the New York subway,” Barry says with giddy excitement. 

A few people are side-eyeing them. Kurt glares at one guy until he looks away. “I know this is super exciting, but keep it down. We don’t want people thinking we’re tourists or it might cause problems.” If something happens, he’ll never hear the end of it from Sebastian. 

Barry offers his seat to a tired looking woman, so Kurt stands next to him, both of them holding on to the same pole. 

Once outside, Kurt is starting to sober up a little. Their neighborhood is nice, but it’s close enough to the station that there’s still homeless encamped on the sidewalks, although there isn’t too much in the way of litter or graffiti. The place Kurt lived in before moving in with Sebastian was dodgy and Kurt still has pepper spray attached to his key ring. 

It’s a beautiful day and Kurt can’t wait to get home and have sex with Barry. And with any luck, Sebastian will get back at a reasonable hour and they can go for round three. 

Kurt loses himself in a fantasy of the three of them rolling around on the bed together when a man stumbles out of an alley holding a gun. He’s in filthy jeans and a ratty jacket. Kurt can’t guess his age, maybe mid-thirty’s, but if he’s been living on the streets for long enough, then guessing is pointless. 

The hole in the muzzle is a bottomless black. Kurt doesn’t want to die like this, less than two blocks from the safety of home and Sebastian is going to kill him for not taking a cab. There’s so many things Kurt hasn’t done yet. He hasn’t performed on Broadway in front of an audience. His new show is in a tiny theater, but it will still count. And he hasn’t been to Paris. 

“Give me your wallets,” the guy growls. 

“Sure,” Kurt says immediately. “I’m going to reach for it slowly. No one needs to get hurt.”

He still has the pepper spray attached to his keys. All he needs to do is pull his keys out instead and...what? Spray the guy in the face before he gets a shot off?

Barry shifts his weight from one foot to the other. 

The guy swings the gun towards Barry. “Now isn’t the time to be a hero.”

“You’re right,” Barry says with a smile that turns into a smirk. “I’m not a hero right now.”

Before Kurt can tell Barry to just give the guy his wallet so they can go home and not to an ER to be treated for bullet wounds, the world swims and Kurt is in front of his building. 

“Stay here,” Barry says firmly and he disappears. 

Barry is gone, like he wasn’t ever there in the first place. 

Kurt stomach heaves and he swallows a few times. He takes a deep breath. And another. And another. His stomach slowly settles. They were three blocks away less than a second ago. 

Out of nowhere, Barry appears and Kurt lets out a strangled gasp. “What’s going on?” Because what Kurt thinks happened didn’t happen. It didn’t. Except....

Barry pants, his eyes winced closed.

Kurt blinks. This doesn’t make any sense. How did they get so far away so quickly? “Barry? What is going on?”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to get hurt. Please don’t tell anyone.”

Don’t tell anyone what? Except deep down, Kurt thinks he knows. “I won’t. Not even Sebastian.” 

“I’m The Flash,” Barry whispers. “This is why it was so unsettling for me to think of...me...dressed as Green Arrow.”

“Where’s the mugger?”

“He’s at the police station tied up with a note.”

“Won’t people wonder why The Flash is in New York?”

Barry turns bright red. “So, that concerned me, too. I signed the note as your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.”

Kurt laughs. What is Spider-man going to think when he finds out someone captured a criminal using his name?

Barry shrugs. “I don’t want to step on any toes. He can take credit. If I were in Starling City, I wouldn’t want to get in Green Arrow’s way. But we’re friends so he wouldn’t care.”

“Did you date?” Kurt asks because that’s what he should worry about right this second. Mmm. Two heroes. 

“No, nothing like that. I know who he really is and he’s dating my best girl friend.”

A few things click into place. “You ran here to New York instead of flying,” Kurt says, trying to imagine it. “That’s why you didn’t want us” Sebastian “to buy you a ticket.”

“Yeah,” Barry admits. “But I didn’t lie. Oliver Queen is a friend, he has a private plane, and he’d let me use it.”

“Then please tell me you and Captain Cold hooked up.” Kurt will never admit it, but he loves sexy, smutty coldflash fics. “He gives me chills.”

Kurt is grateful Barry’s eyes are still closed so he won’t see the wince at the bad pun he couldn’t quite keep inside. 

“Sort of.”

“How do you sort of hook up with Captain Cold?” 

“We know each other in and out of costume. I was Barry, and he was in his civvies.”

“Please please please tell me you fucked in the suit. And if you didn’t, make something up,”

Barry opens his eyes. “You’re not angry I had sex with someone else?

“I had sex with Sebastian a lot since we were in Central City, once when he was pretending to be you.” And a few times when Kurt was pretending Sebastian was Barry. He even fantasized about Barry and Sebastian several times, which he will never admit out loud. “Why would I be mad?”

“My body burns out any illness immediately. When I said we could go without condoms, that’s why. I don’t want you thinking I’d put either of you at risk for an STI by barebacking with you two when I was occasionally seeing someone else. Cold and I use condoms.”

“I trust you,” Kurt says. Maybe he shouldn’t, it’s the excuse guys always give for fucking without condoms - that it’ll be fine. But he believes Barry, both that he cares enough not to hurt them and that he’s telling the truth. 

Barry sighs in relief and cracks one eye open. “On a scale of one to infinity, how mad are you?”

“What?” Kurt blinks in confusion. On an angriness scale of one to infinity, he’s at a negative twenty seven. He’s not dead. Life is wonderful. “Mad about what?”

“That I’m a super hero and I didn’t tell you.”

“Again, what? You saved my life. Even if I were mad, which I’m not, that should make up for it.” It suddenly hits Kurt what the problem is. “I don’t know who got mad at you over this. But you don’t have to tell anyone anything, whether your casually fucking or have been married for fifty years. I won’t say a word. Although, I still really want to hear about you hooking up with Captain Cold.”

The world wavers and Kurt is on the couch next to Barry. It’s not nearly so disorienting this time. 

“There was one time when I caught Cold in a museum where he was trying to get a painting off the wall,” Barry says. “He had set his weapon down to get a better grip so I flashed by and grabbed it. Then I ran by a second time and tied him up.”

“So hot,” Kurt murmurs, putting a leg over Barry’s thighs and shifting so he sits on Barry’s lap. 

“Once I had him where I wanted him, I started in with a lecture about how the painting was for everyone, not just him. And he said, ‘blow me’ and I thought, why not? He’s helpless and I could.”

The Flash is Kurt’s new favorite superhero. This is almost exactly the fantasy he’d had Sebastian act out. Kurt runs his fingers through Barry’s hair and grips, pulling Barry’s head to the side so Kurt can suck on his neck and darken the mark Sebastian left earlier. 

“I ran to the cafeteria and got a large cup of ice. By the time I got back, Cold was all twisted up. And despite his protests, he was hard and desperate for it. He said that I should stop a few times.” Barry licks at the shell of Kurt’s ear. “I didn’t listen.”

“Keep going.” Kurt grinds against Barry. 

“I unzipped his pants, sucked a piece of ice into my mouth, and blew him. His dick was so hot against my tongue,” Barry breathes. 

“I would have begged you to never stop.” Kurt reaches down and yanks Barry’s shirt off over his head. It lands on the floor followed by Kurt’s sweater. 

“So did Cold. He tried to fight it and fight me, but after I sucked him to the edge and pulled off a few times, he pleaded with me to use more ice.”

“I can imagine,” Kurt says. And he can. “I’d beg you to lick me open with your cold, wet tongue and fuck me hard and fast.”

Barry moans, his head falling back and his eyes closing. “It’s funny you should say that because Captain Cold had the same idea. ‘More ice, Your mouth is so hot I can’t stand it,’ he said.”

Kurt kisses down Barry’s chest.

“Then I licked him open, getting him all wet and sloppy,” Barry says. “He begged and pleaded with me to fuck him.”

“I would, too,” Kurt says. “And after you fucked me, I’d beg you to do it again. Even if I was sore and it hurt. I wouldn’t care because I’d need your dick.”

“When Captain Cold couldn’t take it anymore, he told me that he had lube in his pocket. I pulled it out, slicked up my dick, and fucked him. 

If they keep this up, Kurt is going to come in his pants, and he doesn’t care. Barry seems like he’s right on the edge, too. Kurt just needs a little more. 

“I kissed him. I stuck my icy tongue in his mouth and I kissed him.” 

“I would let you do that to me,” Kurt pants. “Except if I were Captain Cold, I’d be the one to suck on ice.”

Barry grabs two handfuls of ass and pulls Kurt closer. “I did him right there on the floor in the museum where anyone could have seen.”

Unlikely, Kurt thinks. Unless the Captain was robbing the museum in broad daylight. Which would just be stupid. 

“He begged for my dick and begged for it harder. He came all over himself at the same time I came in his ass.” Sensations build. Kurt frantically shoves his tongue in Barry’s mouth and thrusts his hips. Less than a minute later, and they both moan into each other’s mouths while they come. Kurt clutches Barry, riding out the waves of pleasure. His eyes drift closed and he sighs Barry’s name.

Barry whines in the back of his throat when he climaxes and it’s one of the sexiest things Kurt has ever heard.

Kurt pants into Barry’s mouth. “So amazing.”

“You’re amazing.” Barry smiles against Kurt’s lips. 

“We should clean up and get in bed. I have a feeling I’m going to fall asleep after that.”

“Don’t tense up.” Barry says. 

Before Kurt has time to wonder why, he’s in bed and naked, with the covers pulled up over his chest. A wave of dizziness washes over him. A few deep breaths and the world stops spinning. Barry is on his side propped up on an elbow and facing Kurt with an enormous smirk on his face. 

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Kurt asks. 

“You and Sebastian have done so much for me already. I’m no longer hiding from everything.”

“I meant something specific. That heist you stopped Captain Cold from pulling, totally sexy, especially when you tell it.” Kurt will be convincing Sebastian to act that out. 

Barry turns bright red. “You know none of that actually happened, right? I’d never force myself on anyone, even if I could.”

“I know. It’s fun to pretend.” Kurt snuggles under the covers. “I mean, is there something you want to act out? We can role-play it. Or I can dress up as Captain Cold and I’ll convince Sebastian to be Heatwave. We can both do you.”

“Please don’t,” Barry says with a wince. “I know Heatwave, too and no. Just no. That would be all kinds of not sexy for me.”

“Is there something you would find sexy? I’ll do whatever I can to make it happen.”

The blush that had started to fade is back and it’s brighter than before. 

“So there is something. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I’m pretty creative. If I can help with it, I’ll do my best.”

Barry hmms and hahs. 

Kurt waits. Either Barry will tell him and he’ll almost certainly do whatever it is or Barry will decide this isn’t the right time or the right person. 

“It something I’ve fantasized about doing with Captain Cold, but I’m not sure I trust him enough. I should. He won’t hurt me, hurt me, but he’s a villain and I’m a vigilante and that’s not the best combination. He’s not a bad person, it’s just complicated.”

“Was whatever you two had good?”

Barry closes his eyes. “It was so good. We were arguing. I flashed over and got in his face and we were yelling and both so angry. The next thing I knew, he was kissing me and walking me over to the bed and...are you sure you want to hear this?”

“Why wouldn’t I want to hear about two super hot guys getting it on?”

“It wasn’t hate sex, but it was angry sex. We both took our frustrations out on each other. He’s got enough of a masochistic streak that he didn’t get upset when I got rough and I heal really quickly so....” Barry shrugs. “Bruises and stuff, I mean. From when he held my legs apart. The good kind. I was glad that I didn’t have to explain them to anyone. 

“If you decide you want to, let me know. No judgements and I’ll tell you the most embarrassing thing I ever did for love. I’m sure whatever you want to do isn’t nearly as bad.”

“Try me.”

“When I was in high school, I was madly in love with a jock named Finn. I wanted him so bad. Anyway, my mom died when I was little and his mom was a widow so I introduced her to my dad at a back to school night. I got them to date so I could spend time with Finn. Now they’re married and he’s my stepbrother. I got over it, but it’s so weird to think about now.”

Barry laughs. “I can beat that. My mom also died when I was little and my dad wasn’t able to take care of me so my best friend’s dad took me in. I was so in love with her. For years. We aren’t technically siblings, but we basically are.”

“What happened?”

“I woke up after nine months in a coma. She was engaged and I was heart broken. When I finally decided it was time to get over it, I went to the club and met you and Sebastian.” Barry smiles shyly. “I haven’t really dated, but I feel like I could if I meet the right person.”

“What’s the fantasy you wish you could have with Captain Cold? I have a faux fur coat and Jackie O sunglasses. It can’t be more embarrassing than having Sebastian pretending to be you while I have him pretend to be someone else. Whatever it is, I want to do this for you.”

“It’s a little complicated.”

Kurt snorts. “I put together my superhero fantasy with Sebastian on the fly because I didn’t want to waste the opportunity. It was everything I wanted. I can handle complicated.”

Barry bites his lower lip and glances down. “Okay, I’ll tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are better than unicorns prancing in a meadow of flowers.


	3. Chapter 3

“Tell me your fantasy.“ Kurt demands.

“Ever since the first time Cold and I hooked up, I keep imagining him teasing me until I come over and over. Then we fuck and he gets off, too.”

That’s…surprisingly not detailed. “So, a forced orgasm thing?” Kurt will do his best, but that’s a little outside of his comfort zone.

“Not exactly,” Barry sighs. “Because of my super speed, I don’t really have a refractory period.”

While that sounds good in theory, Kurt wouldn’t want to get hard again right after sex. If he did, he and Sebastian would never stop screwing. But it does mean Barry can have his thank you now.

Barry rolls on his back and sighs. “Wanting Cold to make me come over and over while he waits to have one orgasm, it’s selfish.”

“Selfish in bed is hot,” Kurt says.

“What?”

“I don’t mean constantly unless everyone gets off on it, but me hijacking Sebastian’s plan to pretend to be you? Selfish. I’m not sorry and neither is he. Besides, it’s all in the way you ask.”

“I never ask the right way.”

This crap needs to stop immediately. “Here’s how I would ask.” Kurt shifts on top, his knees bracketing Barry’s thighs and pinning Barry’s wrists to the bed. “I want you so bad I won’t be able to stop after you’ve come.” Kurt kisses down Barry’s neck enjoying the rasp of stubble against his lips. “Want you in my mouth, god I need it. If you’re good for me, I’ll fuck you with a dildo. And if you’re very, very good, I may even let you get off the last time while you fuck me.”

Barry’s dick throbs between them.

“I’ve got the perfect scenario,” Kurt says. It’s remarkably similar to a coldflash fic, but Barry doesn’t need to know that, ever. “Let’s pretend I’m Captain Cold and Cupid hit me with a lust potion coated arrow. I’ve got to have you and all I want is to make you come over and over. You, being all noble and honest, keep gently discouraging me, but I wear down your defenses until you give in.”

Kurt smirks at Barry. “Is that something like what you had in mind?”

“That’s so much better. And now I kind of want to be tied up, too.” Barry wiggles, but not enough to break Kurt’s grip. 

“Kind of tied up or actually tied up? I have to know that you trust me and that you’ll tell me if I’m taking it too far. All my toys are sterilized, but I’ll clean them again if you want me to.”

“I promise I’ll let you know if it’s too much and I believe you about things being clean.”

“Do you want to do this now, or wait a little while?” Kurt asks.

“Now.”

“Your safe word is safe word,” Kurt says. He doesn’t want anything complicated or confusing. While he’s certain Barry can physically get out of any situation Kurt puts him in, he wants this to be fun for both of them.

“Isn’t that two words?” Barry asks with a hint of the smart-ass smirk that makes Kurt want to smack Sebastian upside the head. 

Kurt glares until Barry says, “My safe word is safe word and I’ll say it if I need you to stop. Otherwise, you can happily ignore any and all protests.”

“Good choice. I’ll be back in a few.”

Kurt steps into the walk-in closet and puts on his favorite boots. He has to borrow one of Sebastian’s long-sleeved and somewhat drably colored shirts and his mirrored sunglasses. With the addition of a faux fur coat instead of a fur-lined parka, Kurt knows that Captain Cold has never looked this fabulous. He also takes a moment to verify that he’s stretched enough to take a dick without having to slow the action down for it. 

For his grand entrance, Kurt throws the closet door open and struts into the room. He poses, one hand on his hip and the other hand holding a prop gun. The gun looks nothing like Captain Cold’s, other than being a similar size. It’s the one Sebastian used when his brother dragged him to some steampunk role-play thing, so it’s brown and covered in fake gears instead of sleek silver. But it’s better than a multicolored nerf gun which is the only other option. 

“You’re not dressed,” Kurt says trying to mimic Captain Cold’s slight drawl. At least, that’s what it sounds like in the few clips Kurt’s heard of Cold’s voice from fan sites. 

Barry glances down in confusion. “I–Oh!”

Before Kurt has time to blink, Barry is the Flash. The red suit is practically painted on and it’s showing off miles of legs and a very fit body. Kurt kind of wants to ask why Barry brought his super suit on vacation. And more important, does he have an extra he can leave here for Sebastian to wear for sexyfun times?

“Give me a moment,” Kurt says. “I’m going to fill the ice bucket and get a bowl of water.”

A wooshing noise is followed by a second one and the ice bucket is on the dresser next to a metal mixing bow half full of water. 

The innocent smile on Barry’s face brings a smile to Kurt’s face. “Or I don’t need a moment. Ready?”

“Yes.”

It’s a relief that, so far, Barry doesn’t require a bunch of direction like Sebastian does. Kurt closes his eyes and takes three deep breaths, the same way he does before going on stage. He opens his eyes, not that Barry can see that behind the mirrored sunglasses, and smiles at Barry. 

“Flash! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Kurt says.

Barry frowns. “Normally, you’re trying to avoid me.”

“Not anymore. I need you.”

“To do what? You know I won’t do anything illegal.” Barry should be an actor. Kurt almost believes that he’s confused.

“I got shot.”

A blur and Barry stands in front of Kurt, his thumbs stroking across Kurt’s cheeks. “Are you okay? Can I take you somewhere?”

“You can take me to bed,” Kurt says. 

Barry blinks a few times. “If you’re hurt, you need to go to a hospital.”

“Cupid got me. The only thing I need is you.” 

“What?”

With a seductive smile, Kurt says, “It was the weirdest thing. She got me with an arrow and it barely hurt and all I wanted was to find you. It was like a compulsion. And here you are. I feel much better.”

“I think Cupid doctored the arrow with a love potion.”

“What I’m feeling for you isn’t love, it’s raw, uncomplicated lust. I’m going to die if I can’t have you.”

“We can’t.”

It’s easy for Kurt to slip into the role and pretend he’s been dosed with lust. 

“We can,” Kurt says, sliding his hands along Barry’s hips. “All you have to do is let me unzip this and I’ll take care of you.”

“It’s so wrong,” Barry says. But he sounds less sure than he did the first time he protested. 

Kurt pouts. “Do you want to fuck my mouth. I can take it. I’ve been practicing with a dildo and pretending it’s you. I imagine how hard you’ll thrust, how good it will be when I have you in my throat and I swallow.”

Shaking his head, Barry says. “I can’t take advantage of you like this.”

Kurt kisses what he can reach of Barry’s face with the hood on. “It’s not taking advantage of me. I’ll even beg for it. Please, Flash, please? I’m burning up and the only thing that will make it bearable is watching you come.”

A squeak is Barry’s only answer. 

Kurt fumbles with the belt of the suit. It’s stuck. Stupid skin tight costume. “Come on, Flash, you know you want me.”

Reaching down, Barry unhooks the belt, letting it fall to the floor. “Call me Scarlet.”

That’s so cute, Cold has a nickname for Barry. “You know you want me, Scarlet.”

“I shouldn’t,” Barry sighs. “It’s wrong.”

“Then maybe I should cool things down.” Kurt picks up a small piece of ice and sucks it into his mouth. He rolls it around with his tongue making sure to get his mouth nice and cold. As soon as the cube dissolves completely, Kurt puts a hand behind Barry’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss, sliding his cold tongue into Barry’s mouth. 

Barry rocks against him. 

Kurt isn’t sure how much friction Barry gets in those pants, but it’s delightful. With a sigh, Kurt moves back. Much as Kurt wants to keep grinding, he at least wants to blow Barry first. “Please?” Kurt asks.

“I want you,” Barry finally admits.

Kurt gets another piece of ice before falling to his knees. While he sucks on the ice, he slowly undoes the zipper and pulls Barry’s pants down far enough to free his dick. Scattering icy kisses across Barry’s abdomen makes him moan. And when Kurt grabs his hips and rubs circles with his thumbs, the moaning gets louder.

A needy gasp escapes Barry when Kurt slides his lips all the way down the shaft. Kurt forces his throat to relax, allowing Barry inside as far as he can go. Barry is hot against Kurt’s cold tongue. And then Kurt swallows around the head.

Barry’s fingers brush against Kurt’s hair with the barest of touches.

Pulling off, Kurt says, “I need you so bad, you can grab my hair and fuck my mouth,” before sucking Barry down to the base. 

Tentative fingers card through Kurt’s hair, working around the arms of the sunglasses. The grip slowly tightens. Normally, Kurt doesn’t like having his hair pulled, but he’ll make an exception. 

It takes Barry a few tries to find his rhythm, but when he does, all Kurt can do is hold still and keep swallowing every time Barry hits the back of his throat. Kurt’s dick presses painfully against the fly of his jeans, which he ignores as best he can. 

It’s hot the way Barry is so focused on chasing his own pleasure, his eyes closed and his mouth open as he pants breathlessly every time he thrusts in. Kurt’s eyes flutter shut as he allows Barry to take what he needs. 

The muscles under Kurt’s fingers flutter, meaning Barry is close. Kurt pulls back the barest amount so he can feel the pressure of Barry’s hand holding him in place. A few more thrusts and Barry pushes in as far as he can go, pulsing in the back of Kurt’s throat. Kurt swallows several times, enjoying the way Barry whimpers through his orgasm. 

Barry lets go of Kurt’s hair and pulls out, breathing heavily with a dazed expression. “That was….”

“That was,” Kurt agrees, crooking his finger in a “come here” motion. 

Before Kurt can register Barry moving, he’s scooping Kurt up and setting him on the bed. Barry bites down on Kurt’s neck, grinding against Kurt, his spent dick teasing Kurt’s erection through the jeans. 

“Wasn’t enough,” Kurt moans. “Want to make you come again.”

Barry smiles against Kurt’s mouth. 

“Had you so far down my throat,” Kurt says while he rolls them and slides his hand up Barry’s arm. “Couldn’t hardly taste you. Scarlet, tell me it was good.”

“So amazing.”

And now that Barry is distracted, or pretending to be distracted, Kurt snaps a cuff around Barry’s wrist and secures the other one before he has time to protest. 

Barry tugs on the restraints; they hold. A little v of concern appears between his eyes and then he sags into the mattress, the tension melting away. Kurt knows that look of release. It’s identical to the one Sebastian gets when Kurt ties him up. 

Climbing off Barry, Kurt says, “Can’t have you running out on me till I get more.”

Barry lets out a little gasp when Kurt pulls out a stainless steel curved wand with a bulb on each end, one larger than the other. “Gonna fuck you with this.” He carefully sets the dildo in the bowl with a couple of ice cubes so it can chill while he works. 

Kurt yanks the pants down around Barry’s knees. Oops. He should have removed the boots first. It’s not like Kurt to make such a faux pas, especially not a clothing related mistake, but he chalks it up to nerves about making this everything Barry fantasizes about. One boot finally comes off with some effort. The pants are ridiculously tight. 

The other boot won’t budge. After a few moments of tugging on it while Barry bites his lip so he won’t laugh, Kurt gives up and pulls the one leg of the suit off and forgets about the other. Barry looks good like this, tied up with the pants half off. Kurt slowly unzips the top of the suit, pulling the sides open and lightly scratching his nails down Barry’s chest. 

Kurt picks up the wand, holding it up to show Barry. 

Barry eyes the dildo warily. 

“It’s one and a half pounds of medical grade stainless steel,” Kurt says while drying it off. “And it’s going in your ass because I’ve got to have you as many ways as I can.” It’s colder than Kurt would want to use on himself, so he sets it on a towel. He wants Barry to enjoy the temperature play, not scream “safe word” the instant it touches his body. 

“Letting you fuck my mouth wasn’t enough.” Kurt picks up a piece of ice and sets it in his mouth, moving it around with his tongue while he straddles Barry, careful not to touch his leaking dick. 

Barry’s eyes flutter shut. 

“Hey!” Kurt grabs Barry’s chin and angles his face so their lips are almost touching. “Eyes on me, Scarlet.” 

Kurt presses their lips together.

The moan that Barry lets out is obscene. Kurt forces himself to keep his hips away from Barry so that this round can last longer than a minute. 

Two pumps of lube from the bottle on the bedside table get Kurt’s fingers nice and slick. He shifts so he can kiss Barry while slowly pushing a finger inside. Barry is so tight and so hot. Kurt wonders if getting fucked by Cold can be worked into the scene. Stop being selfish, Kurt tells himself. Or better yet, be selfish tomorrow or before Barry goes home, not right now. 

Barry spreads his legs further apart. Another finger and another moan. By the time Kurt has four fingers sliding in, Barry is a hot mess, skin flushed and pupils blown. 

When Kurt has Barry open and ready, he picks up the wand, lubes it, and places the larger bulb against Barry’s asshole. With a steady push, the bulb pops in. 

Barry tenses, his legs shaking and his body trembling. 

Kurt pauses. “Are you okay?” 

“It’s just a lot. And it’s cold.”

“Well, I’m Captain Cold. And you’re so hot I can’t control myself.”

With a weak chuckle, Barry says, “Keep going.”

Slower this time, Kurt pushes the toy in until Barry gasps. Kurt curves the toy out and pushes it back in. Over and over, Kurt moves the wand at a steady pace until Barry’s breathing becomes panting. 

“Have to taste you.” Kurt leans forward opening his mouth until just the head of Barry’s dick is in his mouth. 

Barry’s back arches and he comes with a shout. 

Swallowing as Barry starts to come, Kurt presses the toy against Barry’s prostate and lets him enjoy the pressure as his muscles clamp around the stainless steel. 

Barry relaxes with a contented sigh. 

Easing the dildo out, Kurt isn’t sure how much longer he can go before riding Barry. The steel is warm now, almost hot from being inside Barry’s body and Kurt wants to use it on himself. This is about Barry, Kurt reminds himself a few times. 

“How was that?” Kurt asks nervously. The wand can be intense. 

Barry blinks a few times, sated and sex stupid. “Am I still alive?”

Kurt smirks. “So far. Still wasn’t enough. I’m not done with you, yet.” 

A little more lube on his hand and Kurt is ready to keep going. Barry’s dick lays soft and spent on his testicles. He said he could go a few rounds. Time to find out if he was telling the truth. 

The touch of fingertips along his dick has Barry jerking off the bed. “Warn a guy, will you?” 

“Why should I?” Kurt says. “I’ve got you where I want you. I think you can go again.” Kurt leans over, his lips brushing along Barry’s. “Still want you to fuck me.”

Barry’s brows pull down in confusion. “I kind of assumed you’d do something to get me hard again.”

“Oh, is that how it is. You expect me to do all the work?” Kurt wraps his fingers around Barry’s shaft and strokes. It twitches in his hand. 

“I’m tied up,” Barry protests, yanking on the restraints. “If you want me to help, undo me.”

“Not going to happen.”

Several strokes and a dozen kisses later have Barry hard and dripping, so Kurt lets go. Barry whines, his hips thrusting up. 

Since Kurt’s usually on the receiving end of this sort of play, he finds it interesting to be in charge. Being in control is fun, but Kurt doesn’t know exactly how much of this Barry wants or thinks he wants. He mentioned teasing when he shared his fantasy with Kurt, but orgasm denial wasn’t on the list. Pushing Barry into safe wording isn’t the plan. 

“Stop teasing,” Barry whimpers. “I can’t take it.”

“You’ll take whatever I tell you to take,” Kurt says sternly. But he grips Barry’s dick and strokes slowly, pushing his tongue into Barry’s mouth to swallow his protests. 

The pressure is building in his own dick. Rubbing against Barry’s hip to get some friction intensifies the desperation instead of scratching the itch. “I can’t decide if I should keep doing this until I come all over you or let you join in.”

“Want you to ride me. Please, Lenny, I need it.”

Kurt freezes for an instant and then regains his composure. Sex is apparently Barry’s Achilles’ heel. They’ll need to talk about this later, but for now, Kurt keeps rubbing against his hip.

“Too much,” Barry moans. “Need you.”

Kurt gets his boots and pants off and drops them on the floor followed by his shirt. As soon as he’s in position, Kurt grabs Barry’s dick, and places the tip against his hole. This is going to be amazing. They both groan as Kurt sinks down. 

“You’re tight,” Barry breathes. “Fuck me hard.”

“So hard,” Kurt says and then he lifts up until just the head of Barry’s dick is inside him and slides back down. With a steady pace, Kurt thrusts until they both pant and his thighs ache. It doesn’t matter. He can keep going until they are both satisfied. 

Barry squinches his eyes shut and bites his lower lip. “Stop a moment.”

“Not going to happen, Scarlet.” Kurt is getting close and he deserves a spectacular orgasm after the ones he’s helped Barry have. 

“Please. I want to try something.”

“I want to do this,” Kurt says.

“I-safe word.”

Kurt freezes instantly. Barry is barely inside and Kurt's legs twitch with the effort of holding still. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Sebastian can take rougher than this and Barry is a superhero. What did Kurt do wrong? His dick leaks in a steady stream, pearly drops of fluid landing on Barry’s abdomen. He’s so close.

“Nothing’s wrong!” Barry says quickly. “There’s something I want to do and if you’d kept going, I’d have come before I could.”

“Tell me what you want.” 

“Sit back down so I’m all the way inside you and then lean forward so you’re laying on my chest.”

Kurt does, even though it’s not as much fun as riding him. Barry’s chest is warm, a light sheen of sweat allowing Kurt to slide up his body.

“I’ve always wanted to try this,” Barry says. “Don’t kiss me and hold still.”

Before he can ask why, Barry’s entire body vibrates, softly at first and then slowly increasing in intensity. Between the movement in his ass and the warm skin of Barry’s stomach against his dick, it doesn’t take long for Kurt to come hard and wet between them. Barry comes a moment later with a shout, his dick pulsing inside of Kurt against his oversensitive prostate. 

It’s an amazingly intense orgasm, but Kurt wouldn’t want to do that all the time. There wasn’t an opportunity to savor the sensations. His ass feels wrecked and he’s going to be sore. Sebastian will have to be satisfied with handjobs for at least a few days. 

Endorphins flood Kurt’s body. With a huffing breath, he pulls off of Barry and fluid drips out of his ass. Kurt flops on the bed, reaching up to undo the closer wrist restraint. “That was fucking amazing thanks to some amazing fucking. Was that what you wanted?”

“Even better,” Barry sighs. “You’ve definitely raised the bar in case I hook up with Snart again.” 

Kurt is sleepy enough that he can’t even be excited to know the name of his favorite villain. Barry must be falling asleep, too, because he doesn’t seem to realize what he said. They can talk about it later. 

Or not. Google may allow Kurt to see what this Lenny Snart looks like without the sun glasses. Kurt leans forward and kisses Barry, who half-heartedly kisses him back. 

Snuggling closer to warm skin, Kurt should untie Barry and pull the comforter over them. The fur coat is closer and he tugs it over his legs, sort of. Kurt’s eyes close without permission. He can untie Barry in a moment.

 

A TICKLE ACROSS THE bridge of Kurt’s nose and behind one ear wakes him up. He grabs at whatever moves across his face and gets a handful of wrist. It’s really dark in the room. Kurt blinks his eyes several times trying to clear his vision. 

“Why are you wearing sunglasses?” Sebastian asks, the corners of his mouth twitching up in a smile. 

Kurt is half on top of Barry and it takes a moment to remember what’s going on. After round number three? four? they must have both fallen asleep. Barry still has the mask on and the top part of his costume. Kurt had only managed to get one of Barry’s boots off, which is across the room. The other is on his foot with the pants bunched up around his knee. 

A quick glance down confirms that the faux fur coat is sort of covering him like a blanket. His jeans only made it halfway off the bed. The villain and hero clothes he and Sebastian wore before Barry arrived are all over the floor. Even though he doesn’t feel for it, Kurt knows his hair is sticking up all over the place and he’s probably got imprints from the seems of Barry’s costume on his face. 

“This looks like the aftermath of a gang bang at Comic Con,” Sebastian says. “If I try to take the sunglasses off you again are you going to grab me?”

“No,” Kurt says hoarsely. Okay, that’s not good. He coughs into his fist and tries again. “No. Sorry about that.” His voice sounds much better.

“What is it with you and superheroes all of the sudden?”

Barry wakes with a gasp, grabbing at the mask with his free hand and tugging on the restraint with the other. He looks around with wide, startled eyes. 

“It’s me, Kurt. And Sebastian’s here. No need to panic. Everything’s fine.” Kurt undoes the cuff around Barry’s wrist.

With a sigh of relief, Barry falls back onto the pillow. 

“No, seriously,” Sebastian says. “I’m getting a weird feeling. What’s going on here?”

“I was helping Barry act out one of his fantasies. He was the Flash and I was Captain Cold.”

Sebastian runs a finger along one of the seams of Barry’s pants and pinches some of the fabric.

Kurt promised not to tell, and he won’t. But Sebastian is going to figure it out. The wheels are turning and it’s only a matter of time before he starts asking questions. 

Scooting up enough to cup Barry’s face in his hands, Kurt rubs their foreheads together. “It’s going to be fine and hey, Sebastian is a lawyer. I bet you could give him twenty bucks to put him on retainer. Lawyers can’t testify against their clients.”

“What did you do that makes you think you need a lawyer?” Sebastian asks flatly. 

“Why are you looking at me when you ask that?” Kurt isn’t the one who did anything. 

“Barry is a cop.”

“Not all the time,” Barry says with a strangled giggle. 

Sebastian glares at Kurt. “Stop fucking around right this instant and tell me what happened.”

It’s not Kurt’s secret to tell. All he has to do is skip the part about the Flash. 

Sebastian crosses his arms and his glare shifts to Barry. “One of you better start talking. Now!”

“Well, we took the subway home from the bar-” Kurt gets out before Sebastian interrupts.

“What’s wrong with you? You know better than to take the subway at night!”

“Barry is a tourist on his first trip to New York City. And he wanted to take the subway. So we did. And when we were walking from the station back here, a guy came out of nowhere and pulled a gun on us.”

Sebastian’s eyes widen, so he’s concerned even if he’s acting like a disapproving parent. Which is ridiculous because Kurt is older.

“I was going to go for my pepper spray....” How do you tell your boyfriend that his identical twin fuck-buddy is actually a superhero? Do you just blurt it out? Ease into it. Ask if Sebastian has ever noticed he looks remarkably like the Flash. Barry and Kurt should’ve discussed this before they had all the sex. 

Kurt smiles weakly at Barry. “Maybe you should give Sebastian some money before we explain. He can’t testify against me because I’m his boyfriend.”

“That’s not how this works.” Sebastian kneels on the bed next to Kurt. “I don’t know what happened,” Sebastian says. “And I don’t care. I can be forced to testify against my boyfriend. But they can’t force me to testify against my husband.”

He reaches into the bottom drawer of the bed side table and pulls out a book. When he opens it, instead of pages with printed words like Kurt expects, it’s hollow with dark velvet lining. Sebastian removes a closed Tiffany blue ring box and holds it out to Kurt. 

“Will you marry me?” Sebastian asks. 

“What!” Kurt yelps. Because it looks like a ring box and his boyfriend is proposing. His boyfriend who’s said, loudly and repeatedly, that he’s never getting married. 

“I know what you said before about not wanting to get married, but I love you,” Sebastian says. “There’s an online application for marriage licenses. We can go down to the courthouse tomorrow morning and then there’s a twenty-four hour mandatory waiting period. We can have the ceremony the day after,” Sebastian says. “That’s the only way I can’t be forced to testify. Not even if you killed someone who didn’t deserve it. Please. Whatever this is, I can fix it for you.”

And then Sebastian frowns.

“Or is two days too long? We can go to Connecticut. No waiting period on the marriage licenses and we can get married first thing tomorrow. Why do they make it so difficult for people to make a legally binding commitment on a whim?”

“What’s even happening right now?” Kurt asks. He’s dreaming. He’s in a fucked out hazed from too many rounds with Barry and he’s dreaming. 

“I’m proposing.”

This can’t be right. How many times has Sebastian said he’ll never get married? A million times? Or is it a billion? “Marriage is for idiots,” Kurt says repeating something Sebastian says any time the subject of marriage comes up. Which Kurt always agrees with. 

“Fine. I’m an idiot with a ring.”

Kurt shakes his head. Coming to terms with the fact that Sebastian would never want to get married is an easy price Kurt is willing to pay to stay together. After his disastrous engagement to his high school boyfriend, Kurt had no desire to settle down and he figured things with Sebastian wouldn’t last more than a few days, or even a few hours, thanks to Sebastian’s hit it and quit it reputation when it came to sex, so it didn’t matter. By the time Kurt was willing to consider his own aversion to marriage, he knew Sebastian’s opinion and that he’d never change his mind. “You want to marry me because you think I may have killed someone who may or may not have deserved it?”

“No, I want to marry you because I want to marry you. I want to marry you immediately because you’ve done something that necessitates a lawyer and I will do anything to protect you.”

“And this is your idea of a romantic proposal?” Yes, Kurt is definitely dreaming. It’s the only explanation. 

“My plan was to take you to The Blue Box for breakfast and then look at wedding rings.”

“You won’t get a reservation.” Kurt had attempted several times to get reservations at the exclusive cafe inside Tiffany’s. As soon as the reservations go live online, they book up in seconds. Everyone wants to have breakfast at Tiffany’s.

“I got a reservation six weeks ago.”

“Bullshit. They won’t let you book reservations more than a month in advance. I tried everything.” Kurt eventually gave up with the website and went into Tiffany’s. Begging, pleading, watery eyes. Nothing worked on the hostess at the cafe. 

“You tried everything? Really? Did you try dropping thirty grand on jewelry? Because when I did that, they were delighted to let me have a reservation as far out as I wanted.”

Sebastian is proposing with a thirty thousand dollar ring. 

Kurt opens his mouth, but can’t make any words come out. He can’t wear a thirty thousand dollar ring. He just can’t. Sebastian having lots of money certainly makes Kurt’s life easier. You will never hear him complain about Sebastian’s place, the neighborhood they live in, or the cleaning service that comes in once a week. Kurt is grateful he no longer has to work three jobs just so he can afford to eat and pay rent. But this? This is too much. He won’t feel comfortable walking around with a ring like that on his finger. He’ll get robbed again. And this time, he may even be shot.

“Look,” Sebastian says. “I know after your previous engagement, you said you were never getting married. It’s just a piece of paper and it doesn’t prove we love each other. If you want, we can have a civil ceremony, no bells or whistles, and we don’t have to tell anyone ever. I’ll sign a prenup giving you half of everything I have right now and half of anything I earn while we’re married.”

“No.” This is out of control and Kurt needs a moment to figure out how to say that they can get married, but no prenup. He’s not wearing a ring that costs more than he makes in a year. And there’s no way in hell he’s getting officially engaged while he’s still got Barry’s come in his ass. 

A tear drips down Sebastian’s cheek. “Is the thought of marrying me so miserable that you won’t even consider it for the protection?”

“Oh my god you moron, of course I’ll marry you!” Kurt yells. “I’ve been in love with you forever, but I know you think marriage is stupid and pointless and I accepted it. When did this change?” 

Sebastian shrugs sheepishly. “When we met Barry and I realized you can have almost anyone you want, even when you aren’t trying. Hell, you can even have someone who looks exactly like me.”

“I can’t wear a ring that costs thirty thousand dollars. I just can’t. And if you show it to me, I’ll try to convince myself I should.” 

“Are you two engaged?” Barry asks. “I kind of feel like I’m intruding right now.”

“No,” Kurt says immediately. “Sebastian is going to keep that box closed and ask me the way he planned. With a less expensive ring.” It doesn’t have to be a surprise to be special. And Kurt’s kind of relieved that he won’t be having this freak out in public. 

“I said I spent thirty grand on jewelry, I didn’t spend it all on your ring,” Sebastian says. “I’m done with my Christmas shopping for the year. Someone at the firm told me that if you spend at least twenty-five thousand at Tiffany’s, then they’ll let you have a reservation whenever you want.”

“Then why did you buy so much?” 

“I didn’t want them to think I was doing it for the reservation.”

Of course Sebastian is more concerned about what the clerk at Tiffany’s thinks than about spending an extra five grand. 

Kurt suddenly remembers why they got sidetracked. “I love you know matter what. But we didn’t kill anyone or even hurt the mugger. If that’s why you’re proposing, you don’t have to.”

“Then why do you think you need a lawyer?” 

“Barry?” Kurt asks. “Can I tell him or do you want to?”

“Let me do it. I have a feeling Sebastian may want a demonstration.” Barry takes a deep breath and looks Sebastian in the eye. “If I tell you I’m a super hero, are you going to want a drink?”

Sebastian glares at Barry. “Sure. Why not? Should I dress up as Green Arrow?”

“Back in a moment,” Barry says. “Don’t move.”

Barry is gone and so are his jeans; the Flash suit now neatly folded on the pillow. The note in Sebastian’s hand reads, “this is a retainer,” with a twenty sticking out behind it.

A moment later, Barry appears next to the bed, holding an open bottle of wine.

Sebastian gasps at the glass in his hand and it slips through his fingers. 

Before it falls more than an inch, Barry grabs the glass. “You’re supposed to drink it.”

“You’re the Flash.”

Barry frowns and holds the glass out. “I’m the Flash.” 

“I knew it.” Sebastian snatches it out of Barry’s hand and downs the wine. 

The glass is refilled without Barry even twitching. “You didn’t know I’m the Flash.”

“I’ve been suspicious for a while. As soon as you said you knew Green Arrow, busted. He’s worse at keeping a secret identity than you.” 

“You don’t know who Green Arrow is,” Barry says at the same time Kurt asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sebastian gets off the bed and crosses his arms. “People who’ve been on a deserted island for years shouldn’t maintain distinctive facial hair if they want to shoot bad guys full of holes. Especially not if they’re plastered all over social media in both guises. And don’t get me started on idiots who spent months in a coma in a city overrun with metahumans and run at the speed of sound about a minute after they wake up.”

“No way,” Kurt breathes. From the horrified expression on Barry’s face, it’s clear that Sebastian is right. Oliver Queen is Green Arrow? That…makes so much sense.

The shocked silence stretches on until Sebastian says, “I’m not going to tell anyone. I’m your lawyer, right?” He holds up the twenty and the note.

Barry smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I outed myself to Kurt because I couldn’t allow him to get hurt. You two knowing about me puts my friends and family at risk.”

Sebastian takes a step forward and runs a finger up Barry’s chest. “Then you better make sure neither of us says anything. As your lawyer, I can’t. And I have a few mostly legal ideas about how you can convince Kurt to keep quiet.”

That sounds like fun. How long can Kurt playfully pretend that he’s going to tell the world the truth about Flash and Arrow? 

A smirk pulls up at the corner of Barry’s mouth and his eyes sparkle with mischief. “Oh, really?”

“Yes,” Sebastian says. “And if I’m going to be your lawyer, Evil Twin, we need to work out a payment plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! If you did, take ten seconds to let me know - kudos and especially comments make my day.

**Author's Note:**

> endnotes - Shoutout to SheDevilGleek who recently binge read and left lovely comments on everything I’ve posted on AO3. I truly appreciate it and it’s inspiring me to finish up some things that are half done and get them posted. Thank you!


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